During the most esteemed Constellations teacher and writer Suzi Tucker’s Zoom conversation last weekend, we focused on the plight of the Golden Child. Plight? Burden? Indeed. As Suzi puts it: Families unconsciously assign the children assignments and positions at birth. We take on the assignments wholeheartedly as a means of survival and belonging to the system, which sometimes lasts for a lifetime. The price we pay as scapegoat or black sheep appears obvious, but the trap of the golden child can feel wonderful, but over time, the weight of the crown threatens to topple us.
I wasn’t locked into the golden child gilded cage, designated more the black sheep, but it occurs that each of the four kids in my family might have thought themselves the outcast at one time or another. Being the black sheep allowed me to gather my life at 21, head to Europe for the summer, and return completed changed. The confines of my Wisconsin life chafed, I was ready to claim my true sexual nature after an affair with a splendid woman from New York City on the island of Paros. Yes, that’s another novel. I shakily determined to skip out of my last year of college to head to the East Coast to pursue a different culture and a tenuous new love.
The Golden Child's position, like each child born into the family system, is etched into us in the womb, where we absorb subliminal facts and dynamics that come from our parents and past generations. It's a glorious, complex and extraordinary webwork to explore, and what makes the practice of Family Constellations so fascinating and valuable. In a Constellations Circle, as a seeker or representative, we can observe, and shift the patterns that bind us in the present. For it's in the present that we have the most power to create a new way of being in the world.
This coming Sunday, and the 4th Sunday afternoon of every month, come join a Constellations Circle to learn basic principles of Family Constellations. Here we explore and honor our ancestral connections during 4th Sunday Constellations Circle.
Every system will create a balance to exist.
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